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UFC 194: Aldo Shhh

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Bagua Kung Fu training began for me in the 70s. I was involved in Karate, enthralled by martial arts in general, and I found this book, and…forty years later I still walk in circles. Circles, of course, are what it is all about.
You walk in circles you rotate your arms you pivot and…breath. It really is the easiest martial art to learn, yet one of the most amazingly complex. In spite of these contradictions, it has the most wonderful and far reaching benefits of any Martial Art that I have ever seen.
Anyway, what this article is about is that back in the 90s I decided to build myself a Bagua training hall. I didn’t want a wooden structure, however, I wanted an open air location where I could experience the purity of environment that the ancients had. So I looked out my back door and up the mountain.
Actually, it wasn’t much of a mountain, more of a hill, but there was a charm to it. Prying eyes wouldn’t be able to see me, and permeating everything was the sweet smell of giant sage plants, and this wilderness training hall would be open only to those who liked to do a little climbing. All in all, it looked like Paradise had found a home on earth.
I built the ‘doorway’ to my mountain kung fu training hall by selecting a path through large plants. I used a sharp edge shovel, and I dug steps up the mountain side. When I reached what I felt to be the perfect spot, I began to scrape and level a twelve foot circle in the hilly earth.
The first time I went round my bagua circle was bliss. I breathed deeply of the fresh air, felt vast vistas of space surrounding me, and I could–I swear–feel the spiritual fires awakening in my gut, coursing through my frame, herding me along the path of the ancients. Unfortunately, heaven was not that easily attained.
Bugs. Millions of flying gnats, a swarm of eternal hoards surrounded me, tried to fill my mouth, actually tried to swim up my nostrils. And bees, and hornets, and big, fat black things with stingers that made a noise like the exhaust of a racing motor bike.
I tried wearing a veil, I brought citronella pots to the clearing, I tried everything, but nothing worked. My carefully crafted Bagua Kung Fu couldn’t withstand ‘bug-wah’ communism. Over the decades I have continued my training, and have experienced revelations, blessings of all I have done so from safely within those darned, infernal, man made doohickies called houses.

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